THE SISTERHOOD OF THE VIRTUOUS CIRCLE

April 15 2021

Photo credits: "Women's March in Chicago" by ShutterRunner is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

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Last week felt like the sisterhood was watching out for me. With the sisterhood, I mean that unspoken agreement between women who have each other’s backs and act as each other’s allies rather than each other’s worst enemies as is often the case.

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Something about being in this unofficial sorority, without having done anything to deserve it - besides being born female -  felt quite empowering. As I felt the sisterhood at work, there was a sense of complicity that rushed over me, whilst simultaneously feeling like “I better live up to it and owe this membership status”.

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I’m a big advocate of women looking out for each other. Of female empowerment. Numerous studies have been done on the benefits of empowering and educating women. Just take a look at the Global Gender Gap Report: the economy grows, child mortality rates plummet, it prevents child marriages and proves to be a social vaccine against HIV and malaria. Empowered women seem to excel at forward planning and at creating a virtuous circle of prosperity and development for their communities.  

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But women having each other’s backs should not come at the expense of other – marginalized-  groups of society. Yet that is exactly what happened this week in one of my encounters with the sisterhood.

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As I was driving through central Brussels and approaching a traffic light that had just turned red in my worn-down Suzuki Swift, I spotted a beggar. I felt like giving him something but as soon as that thought crossed my mind, I remembered that my last coins had been dutifully handed over to my daughter who now systematically reminds me when  her allowance hasn’t been paid on time.  All I had on me was a ten euro note, a bit much for a random stranger. With no money or food to hand over, there was nothing I could offer the beggar except my humanity. So as he made his way to my car, I rolled open my window to announce that I wouldn’t be able to give him anything, whilst promising I wouldn’t fail him the next time. It took a bit of convincing but the conversation ended amicably.

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As he wandered off to the vehicle behind me, I suddenly noticed agitated movements from the car next to mine. Two girls, they couldn’t have been more than 25, ardently motioned me to reopen my window. As I did so, I was met with the most surprising words of caution that left me completely baffled: “You shouldn’t open your window for beggars”! They said it in such an urgent, almost pleading manner, I knew they had nothing but good intentions at heart. Having been left speechless I still managed to mutter a - quite angry -  “I have no problem with opening my window for beggars”, before the light turned green and our cars, each clearly representing a different school of the sisterhood,  continued upon their separate paths.

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I sincerely believe these girls meant well. Us sisters, we have to watch out for one another because there is so much danger out there!

"But aren’t the #metoo movements and women speaking up about the constants threats and harassments they face, sowing more distrust into a society that is already fueled by fear?”,

I wondered as I drove on.

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I have endured my share of harassments, cat-callings and unwanted groping. Do I wish this upon my daughters? No. Will it happen? Yes, probably. Do I want them to know that they have the right to call out for help and stand up for themselves? Of course! I never realised this myself as a young woman,  and as a result of my youth and ignorance I probably underwent a few too many of these harassments passively while I had every right to shout out and denounce it. I wasn’t prepared because I wasn’t informed. The #metoo movements are a powerful antidote to this ignorance.